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Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
Lesson
37
ACHIEVING
HAPPINESS-2
Definition
of happiness
Happiness,
a state of joy, pleasure,
goodness, or satisfaction.
The
secret of happiness
Decide
to be Happy.
You
feel the way you think and
you act the way you
feel. Everything has
positive and negative both
aspects.
It
is up to you which side you
see. It is just like the example of a
glass "half empty or half
full". One will
find
the glass half full whereas
the other might say half of
the glass is empty. Different people
think
differently,
so a particular phenomenon can be explained in the
different perspectives.
The
Five Principles of Psychological
Functioning
According
to a research the genes play a significant
role in the happy personality of a person.
But as far as
the
psychologists' point of view is
concerned happiness is something
which can be achieved by
controlling
the
negative emotions and feelings of
pessimism, cynicism, distrust,
anger and annoyance.
A
related approach to finding
happiness is to follow the five
principles of psychological
functioning
recommended
by popular psychologist Richard
Carlson. One can be happy by learning the
techniques and
skills
of self-management.
1.
The
first principle is thinking.
Directing
your thinking in a positive
direction will enhance
your
happiness.
Think positive and be
optimist. Positive thinking always
leads towards acquiring
happiness.
2.
The
second principle is moods.
Ignoring bad moods contributes to
happiness. Learn to control
your
mood.
3.
The
third principle is separate
psychological realities,
suggesting that you accept
the idea that people
think
differently. All the people can
not think alike, you must
have the ability to listen to the
other
peoples'
point of view and accept
them as they are.
4.
The
fourth principle is feelings.
If you
feel discontented, for example,
clear the head and
start
thinking
positively. Enjoy what you
have, don't spoil your
life by craving for what you
don't have.
5.
The
fifth principle of psychological
functioning is the
present moment. The
present moment is where
most
people find happiness and
inner peace. One can not
change one's past, neither
can predicts
one's
future. The only thing in
one's hands is the present.
Focus on your present and be
happy.
Tips
to achieve happiness
One
can only be happy if one has
the desire and intention to be happy.
You should be aware of the things
that
spoil your mood so that you
avoid or control such
environment. Now we will
have a look at the
fourteen
tips to be happy.
1)
Endeavor
to change the way you look
at things. Always look at the bright
side.
2)
Think
of solutions, not problems. If you
keep on thinking about the problem,
you will
keep
yourself
unhappy. Try to find out the
solutions to get rid of the
problem.
3)
Listen to
relaxing, uplifting music. Take relaxing
exercises. Meditation and
indulging in
your
favourite
activity will also be
helpful in uplifting your
mood.
4)
Watch
funny comedies that make
you laugh.
5)
Each
day, devote some time to reading a few
pages of an inspiring book or
article.
6)
Watch
your thoughts. Whenever you
catch yourself thinking negative
thoughts,
start
thinking
of pleasant things. You can
control your negative
thinking by looking at the
positive
side of the phenomenon.
7)
Always
look at what you have done
and not at what you haven't. Appreciate
yourself for
your
achievements.
8)
Each
day do something good for
yourself. Rewarding yourself with little
things will keep
you
in good mood. For example,
buying a book, eating
something you
like,
watching you
favorite
program on TV, going to a movie, or just having
a
stroll
on the beach.
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Relations MGMT611
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9)
Each
day do at least one act to
make others happy. It is equally
important to do
some
nice
act
for others as you like to do
for yourself.
10)
Always
expect happiness.
11)
Do not
envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy
for their happiness.
12)
Associate
with happy people, and try to
learn from them to be happy. Remember,
happiness is
contagious.
13)
Do
your best to stay detached,
when things do not proceed as intended
and desired.
Detachment
will help you stay
calm and control your
moods and
reactions.
Detachment
is
not
indifference. It is the acceptance of the good
and the bad
and
staying
balanced.
Detachment
has much to do with inner
peace, and inner peace
is conducive to happiness.
14)
Smile
more often. Smile, it costs
nothing but gives a
lot.
Your
mind and Happiness
Depression
could be defined as an illness whose
main symptom is extreme
unhappiness. If you are
happy
you
cannot be depressed. If you are suffering
from depression always seek
help and support from a
doctor.
Depression
is an illness which exists in the
mind and therefore the cure
and prevention lies with
treating the
mind.
What do you need to work on
to become happier and less
depressed? You should consider
these
factors
curing depression.
1.
Your
mood
2.
Your
self esteem
3.
Your
perceived situation
4.
Your
self confidence
5.
Your
thinking
6.
Your
motivation
7.
Your
faith
8.
Your
purpose
Depression
begins and lives in your
mind. You are the one
who is in charge of your
mind and your
thinking.
You can become a more
happier person by bringing changes in
your attitude and
behaviour.
A
planned approach to finding a
relationship
The
problem-solving method can be
used to enhance one's
personal life despite claims
that planning takes
the
romance out of personal
life. Examples of widely used planned
approaches are personal ads
(both
printed
and voice mail), Internet dating
services, and chat rooms on
the Internet. Most methods of
finding a
relationship
involve reaching out for
another person. A key principle of
finding romantic companionship is
to
be realistic in terms of the type of
person you are likely to
attract--one who will most
likely be interested
in
you. Caring friends are always a
source of pleasure and
happiness.
An
important consideration in searching for
a relationship is to recognize when you
are experiencing quest
fatigue. It is the feeling
of demoralization and disappointment that
takes place when all
your efforts at
finding
a nice caring friend fail.
Give yourself time off from the
search when quest fatigue
occurs.
Why
people are attracted to one
another
As
part of enriching social life, it is
helpful to understand why people
are attracted to each
other.
Understanding
these forces may help in
choosing a compatible person for a
long-term relationship.
A.
Balance Theory of Attraction
Balance
theory states
that people prefer relationships that
are consistent or balanced. We
are thus attracted
to
similar people because they reinforce our
opinions and values.
Moreover we are attracted
towards those
people
who have the similar values
and attitudes to avoid
conflict. We feel more comfortable and
like to be
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Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
associated
with the like minded persons
for a smooth and happy relationship. It is natural
phenomenon that
people
do not like to take
psychological pressure or dissonance.
Hence they tend to pick and
choose the
friends
having similar characteristics.
B.
Social Exchange Theory of
Attraction
According
to social
exchange theory,
human relationships are based mainly on
self-interest. People
match
their
social, physical, and other
assets against a potential
partner's. The closer the
match, the more
likely
they
will develop a long-term relationship. One
explanation of these findings is
that the feeling of being
taken
advantage of corrodes a relationship. It is
also disturbing to feel that
you are taking advantage of
your
partner.
If
you are more demanding
from a relationship, you might
break that relationship by putting undue
stress or
pressure
on that relationship.
References:
Dubrin,
A.J. (2005). Human Relations:
Career and Personal Success.
Upper Saddle River, New
Jersey,
07458.
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