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Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
Lesson
10
HANDLING
PERSONAL ISSUES
Self-Defeating
Behaviour
·
In
today's increasingly complex social
and economic environment,
most people have to
overcome
personal
behaviour as they influence their
personal and work life.
When personal problems
are
under
control, care prospects
improve. Personal satisfaction
improves.There are many sources
of
personal
problems and these sources
need to be identified for
their effective solutions and also
to
avoid
such problems in future. The
professional success is greatly
influenced by personal problem,
the
issues and situations. Most
personal problems are
usually the creation of your own.
They
emerge
through self-defeating attitudes
and behaviours.
Self-Defeating
Attitude
·
Self-defeating
attitude is a tendency to act in
such a way that one's
behaviour works against
his/her
own
interests, either intentionally or
unintentionally.
·
Feelings
of helpless and apathetic
attitude are examples. Such
attitudes kill initiative
and action.
Why
engage in self-defeating
attitude
·
The
major factor behind self-defeating
attitude and behavior is a
negative thinking.
·
Some
people act towards damaging
their careers and falling
short of their potentials. They
create
problems.
·
The
simplest explanation for self-defeating
behavior is that some people suffer
from personal
attributes
that promote self-defeating or
self-damage.
·
Self-defeating
is a kind of belief that put
people on the path of
self-damaging.
·
If a
person attains an erroneous
belief, it will create
conditions for failure. For
example, perceiving
a
wrong reason for a problem
can result in self-defeating
tendency.
·
Give
`isolation' as an example.
·
A
negative and self-defeating
attitude destroys all hope of
career success. A positive
and proactive
attitude
guarantees that.
Self-defeating
behaviours
Defensiveness
Unrealistic
expectations
Fear
of stating ones point of
view
Fear
of intimacy
Negative
attitude
Fear
of commitment
Fear
of expressing deep
feelings
Fear
of rejection
Inability
to say "no"
Extreme
nervousness
Disorganization
Fear
of taking a test
Waste
time
Fear
of death
Poor
Planning
Excessive
daydreaming
Forgetfulness
People
pleasing
Fear
of being oneself
Fear
of success
Excessive
guilt
Unrealistic
mistrust
Losing
temper
Alienation
from others
Positive
attitude
A
positive attitude gives you
the power and confidence to approach
every situation with the
expectation
that
you will ultimately find the
right thing to do -- and
then do it.
If
a person starts enjoying isolation, it
will be self-defeating
27
Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
Your
ATTITUDE, enthusiasm and
self-confidence is critical to personal
and professional success.
A
winning
attitude energizes your
mission, transforming raw potential
into
power.
Believe in yourself and
your
power.
1.
Attitude
2.
Enthusiasm
3.
Self-Confidence
4.
Future Success isn't Limited by
Past Failures
·
Because
you have the deep-seated
belief that you can
achieve anything you want,
an endless series of
possibilities
open up for you -- creating
real opportunities for
advancement.
·
Future
success isn't limited by past
failures -- but by your
willingness to take the right
actions -- right
now.
Strategies
to overcome Self-Defeating:
1.
Examine Yourself and Make
the Necessary Changes: A good
starting point in attitude analysis is
to
look
for patterns in one's
setbacks or failures. People
can change attitudes and
behaviours.
2.
Stop Blaming Others for
Your Problems and Cursing Fate: Projecting
blame onto others is
self-
defeating
because doing so relieves a
person from most of the responsibility
for his or her setbacks
and
failures.
When things go wrong, instead of cursing
fate, fight back and
create your own
destiny.
3.
Solicit Feedback on Your Actions:
Feedback
is essential for monitoring whether a
person is sabotaging
his
or her career or personal
life. Listening to spontaneous
comments and soliciting
feedback are both
effective.
4.
Learn from Criticism: To ignore
valid criticism can be self-defeating.
Suggestions for benefiting
from
criticism
include:
(1)
See yourself at a
distance;
(2)
Ask
for clarification and
specifics;
(3)
Decide
on a response (for example,
apologize to or thank the
criticizer).
5.
Stop Denying the Existence
of Problems: Many
people sabotage their careers
because they deny the
existence
of a problem, and therefore do not take
appropriate action. Denial hides a
painful reality.
6.
Visualize Self-Enhancing Behavior: To apply
visualization, the person programs himself or
herself to
overcome
self-defeating actions and
behaviors. The person then
visualizes coming out a winner in
a
challenging
situation.
Positive
attitude to tackle personal
problems
·
Expect
success rather than fear
failure.
·
Focus
on solutions rather than remain stuck in
the problem.
·
Speak
and act with
enthusiasm.
·
Enjoy
life with a positive
attitude and a passion for
the future.
·
Gain
the surge of energy that
accompanies a positive mental
attitude.
·
Lift
up the spirits and inspire others when
they are down.
·
Overcome
obstacles or defeat with a
renewed positive attitude.
·
Say
"YES to each new challenge
as it presents itself.
·
You
learn from error and
defeat
·
Think
like an employer.
·
Positive
thinking will let you do
everything better than negative thinking
will.
Personal
well-being
·
Lack
of personal well-being is an important
personal problem people usually
face. Here personal
well-
being
refers to mental and social
adjustment/comfort. Harmonious social
relations promote personal
well-
being.
·
In
other words, harmonious social relations
enhance your mental energy.
It also keeps you healthy
both
physically
and mentally.
Common
Personal Problems
28
Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
1.
Drug
Abuse
2.
Internet
Dependence
3.
Coping
with Loss of Relationship
3.
Absenteeism
and Lateness
4.
Depression
and Neurological
Disorders
5.
Coping
with Anger
Some
personal problem
A.
Drug
Abuse
The
health effects and personal
life consequences of abusing
both illegal and prescription
drugs.
1.
All
drugs may have serious
side effects (for example,
Relaxants, Heroine).
a.
Narcotics. A
narcotic is a drug that dulls the senses,
facilitates sleep, and is addictive
with long-term use.
b.
Depressants. A
depressant is a drug that slows
down vital body processes.
Alcohol is a depressant.
c.
Stimulants. A stimulant
produces feelings of optimism
and high energy.
Cocaine
and diet pills are
stimulants.
2.
Getting
Help for Drug Abuse
Problems. Drug
abusers, like alcohol abusers,
can also perceive
their
problem as a disease or maladaptive
behavior thus directing their
remedial strategy.
Internet
Dependence
An
Internet dependence (or
addiction) is a condition whereby a
person spends so much time on
the
Internet
that other work suffers
and the person experiences
sleep deprivation and
neglects human
contact.
B.
COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A
RELATIONSHIP:
A
major personal problem many people
encounter is the loss of a valued
personal relationships,
including
separation,
divorce, or death. Loss of intimacy in a relationship
is another significant type of loss.
The
person
who takes the initiative in
terminating a relationship often has to
cope with guilt. Ways of
coping
with
the loss of a relationship include:
·
Be
thankful for the good in the
relationship
·
Find
new outlets for spare
time
·
Get
ample rest and
relaxation
·
Pamper
yourself
·
Get
emotional support
·
Get
out and go places
·
Give
yourself time to heal
·
Anticipate
a positive outcome
·
Totality
of relationship is not bad
C.
ABSENTEEISM AND LATENESS:
·
Absenteeism
and lateness are the leading
factors of employee discipline. They
are a form of career
self-
sabotage.
·
As a rule of
thumb, more than five
latenesses and absences in a
month constitute a problem.
·
Maintaining
control over absenteeism and
laterness helps employers
control costs. Following
are
suggestions
for developing the right
mental set for developing an
excellent record of attendance
and
punctuality.
·
Look
upon your job as
self-employment.
·
Reward
yourself for good attendance
and punctuality and punish yourself
for the opposite.
·
Think
through carefully the consequences if all
company employees were
absent and late
frequently.
·
Think
of the consequences to coworkers if you
are absent and late
frequently.
E.
DEPRESSION AND NEUROBIOLOGICAL
DISORDERS:
29
Human
Relations MGMT611
VU
Disturbed
emotions and brain malfunctioning
can interfere with handling
some aspects of job
responsibilities
well.
1.
Depression
·
Depression
is a widespread emotional disorder. The
condition can drain energy
and reduce
productivity
and quality. As effectiveness
decreases, the person's thinking,
acting, and feeling
become
more
damaged.
·
Seasonal
Affective Disorder (SAD) is a
form of depression that
develops during the hot and
humid
season
and disappears as the weather
becomes pleasant.
2.
General Anxiety
·
Continuous
worry about real and
imagined problems to the point of
negative functioning
affects
significant
proportion of population (an
estimated 13 percent of the
population).
·
Anxiety
is a feeling of distress or uneasiness
caused by fear of an imagined
problem.
3.
Neurobiological Disorders
Personal
problems on the job are
often the result of neurobiological
disorders, a quirk in the chemistry
or
anatomy
of the brain that creates a
disability. The disabilities take the
form of reduced ability to
control
one's
behavior, movements, emotions, or
thoughts.
·
Attention
Deficit Disorder: People
with this disorder (ADD) have
difficulty concentrating that
may
be accompanied by hyperactivity. High
achieving adults with ADD
often work extremely
long
hours,
jumping from one project to
another.
·
Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder: People
with this disorder (OCD) have
uncontrollable and
recurring
thoughts or behavior relating to an unreasonable
fear.
·
Narcolepsy:
People
with this disorder have uncontrollable
sleepiness, even after receiving
adequate
sleep.
Neurobiological
disorders can be treated
successfully with medication and a
supportive environment at
home
and on the job.
F.
DEALING WITH ANGER
·
Limited
ability to deal with anger
damages the career and
personal life of many
people.
·
Anger
is a feeling of extreme hostility or
displeasure. Anger creates
stress and results in
physiological
changes such as enlarged pupils,
and a flushed face.
·
Workplace
violence usually stems from
anger.
·
The
ability to manage anger is an
important interpersonal skill, now
considered to be part of
emotional
intelligence.
To
manage anger, keep in mind the
following:
(1)
Anger
can be an energizing force, and therefore
constructive if properly
channeled.
(2)
Express
your anger before it reaches a
high intensity.
(3)
As you
are about to express anger,
slow down.
(4)
Ask for feedback about how
well you are expressing
your anger.
The
problem of anger has become
widespread. You can watch
aggressive scenes on roads, in
schools, at
home,
and other places.
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