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Human Relations

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Lesson 42
HELPING OTHERS GROW
Helping Others Grow
Helping others grow strengthens the human relationships. When you help others, you help yourself as well.
When you pave the way for others, others will have positive feelings for you. They will give you respect and
you will see that your relationships with others are improving. As a matter of fact you enrich your own life
by being helpful to others.
Being a Nurturing, Positive Person
A mentor is characterized with the ability of the future vision to guide and lead people towards the
achievement of their goals and objectives.
Sinha (1980) developed the concept of `nurturant task leader', he describes it as ...a nurturant and
benevolent guide who cares for his subordinates and takes a personal interest in their well being and
growth. He in fact helps them grow and mature so that they may assume greater responsibilities and may be
competent to participate in decision-making. The nurturant task leader believes that it is through the task
system that a meaningful, trusting and growth oriented inter-relationship may be developed in an
organizational setting.
One can be a positive nurturing person by following these rules.
1. Understand that most people have needs of growth. There is hardly anyone who doesn't want
promotion in life. Suppose if a person is employed as a clerk, it doesn't mean that he always have to
live with that status. If you help him in improving his status he will have nice feelings for you.
2. Make a team with a coworker to form a network. If you are able to form a team, you can be more
helpful to others. Networks play an important role in the personal and organizational development
and growth.
3. Be a role model for others. When you demonstrate how to be a good worker, others would like to
follow you.
A list of mentoring behaviour
If you ensure some basic roles and responsibilities of a mentor, you will see the improved quality of
relationships between the mentor and the mentee. Let us see, how you can be helpful to others by guiding
and leading them towards their growth.
1. Sponsor. Sponsor others to help and assist them in getting jobs.
2. Do coaching. Provide guidance and coaching based on your past experiences.
3. Protect others. Everyone commits mistakes. If you protect others from the bad consequences of
their mistakes, you will perform the job of a mentor.
4. Share challenging tasks. If you share some challenging task with your coworkers, it will be
helpful in building confidence in them.
5. Act as a referral agent. If somebody needs your reference, be sincere and honest in telling the
positive characteristics. And also you can refer your mentee to the one who can guide him in a
better way than you can.
6. Become a Role model. Demonstrate through your behaviour what you expect from your mentee.
7. Giving support and encouragement. People always need support and encouragement. You can
do it by a number of ways. Some nice words can work wonders.
8. Do counseling. Develop a positive counseling relationship with your mentee.
9. Providing friendship. Friendly relationships give mental and psychological support which plays
many a time vital role in the development of a person.
10. Encourage problem solving. Be helpful by identifying and solving problems.
11. Explain complexities. Life is becoming more and more complex. If you are better informed and
others are confused about a particular situation. Try to solve the complexities of life.
12. Teaching the right skills. Make others learn how to be successful. Impart right and proper
knowledge and skill to your mentees.
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13. Encourage continuous learning. Changes are occurring all the time. Encourage your mentees to
learn new skills and keep your knowledge up to date.
Coaching skills and techniques
Mentoring in the workplace is much talked about these days. How can we be a part of this process? Here
are certain techniques and skills.
1. Provide specific (or behavioral) feedback. Giving feedback on technical and behavioral skills is
necessary in the learning process.
2. Criticism may not be pinching and should be positive. Always offer constructive criticism. Negative
criticism is harmful.
3. Encourage the person to speak. Share your strengths and weaknesses with your mentee. It will
encourage him/her to communicate his/her thinking.
4. Ask useful and tough questions. Relevant questions about the problems and their solutions will
develop the ability to think about the solutions of the problems.
5. Provide emotional support. Being friendly and supportive in learning process is very useful.
6. Provide constructive advice. Be a part of the others growth by giving a sincere piece of advice.
7. Use "could" rather than "should." Do not be authoritative, let others take decisions.
8. Interpret what is happening. If you are well informed and your interpretation proves to be right,
you will develop trust among people.
9. Allow for modeling the desired performance. If others have better ideas, let them do it on their
own way.
Principles of training
If others admire your knowledge and technical skills, you feel satisfied. You can also be helpful to others in
making them learn certain skills.
1. Encourage concentration and make people focus. You can tell others how to focus and what to
focus.
2. Use motivated interest (passion). If you make people motivated they may excel in any field of their
interest.
3. Learn how to remember. People usually forget. It is very important to learn the technique of
remembering things.
4. Ensure the meaningfulness of learning materials. Make sure that the notes and audio visuals are
helpful in learning.
5. Give feedback on progress. Give periodic feedback on the lessons in constructive way.
6. Ask the trainee to reflect on what was learned. While you give feedback to others, ask for feedback
for yourself as well.
7. Deal with trainee defensiveness. People usually resist new ways of doing things.
8. Use various learning styles (e.g. some people learning better in groups). Different people feel
comfortable in different ways of learning. Some people like group learning, some like individual
learning. Some like formal learning and some informal.
Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People
Dealing with difficult people is an art. Almost everyone has to face with difficult people in one form or the
other. How to deal with difficult people at work place depends on your abilities. Here are a few tips to deal
with difficult people.
1. Give ample feedback. Don't be hostile or adverse. Constructive feedback improves the
relationships.
2. Criticize constructively. Positive criticism will help others improve their behaviour.
3. Help the difficult person feel more confident.
4. Use tact and diplomacy. If you are dealing with him/her tactfully, he/she would not remain that
much difficult for you.
5. Use non-hostile humour. Do not take his/her undesirable attitude seriously. If you use humour
and jokes in dealing with difficult people. It will decrease the tension.
6. Reinforce civil behaviour and good moods. Be positive and civilized with others. You will
become better worker and person if you learn to reinforce civil behaviour.
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Remember, it is always desirable to help others grow.
References:
Dubrin, A.J. (2005). Human Relations: Career and Personal Success. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey,
07458.
http://www.quoteland.com/author.asp
Sinha, J.B.P. (1980). The Nurturing Task Leader: A model of the effective executive. New Delhi: Concept
Publishing Co.
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Table of Contents:
  1. HUMAN RELATIONS:Some Guidelines for Effective Human Relations, Communication has 3meanings
  2. CULTURE AND PERSONALITY:Definition of sub culture, Definition of Personality, Types of Persons
  3. PERSONALITY AND STRESS:Personality, PERSONAL TOOLS TO CONTROL STRESS
  4. PERCEPTION AND INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIOUR:Three concepts of personality, Bias in Perception
  5. PERCEPTION AND GROUP BEHAVIOR:Characteristics of Groups, Individual and Group Behavior
  6. ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR:Types of Attitudes, Steps to turn attitude into action
  7. PERSONAL MOTIVATION AND ACHIEVEMENT:Needs and Motivation, Self-discipline and motivation
  8. SOLVING PROBLEMS SKILLFULLY:Problem solving and cognition, Ways to solve problems
  9. CREATIVITY IN PROBLEM SOLVING:Barriers to creativity, Tips to solve problems creatively
  10. HANDLING PERSONAL ISSUES:Self-Defeating Behaviour, Positive attitude to tackle personal problems
  11. CONFLICT RESOLUTION:WHY SO MUCH CONFLICT EXISTS, TECHNIQUES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICTS
  12. COMMUNICATION AND HUMAN RELATIONS:Process of communication, Improving gender barriers to communication
  13. ORGANIZATIONAL COMMUNICATION:To improve listening skills, Types of organizational communication
  14. UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION STYLES:Modeling communication style, Sociability continuum
  15. SELF-ESTEEM:Building process of self-esteem, Self-esteem and public image
  16. BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE:The importance of self-confidence and self-efficacy, Balanced Self-Confidence:
  17. BECOMING A LEADER-1:Assessing leadership role, Traits and Characteristics of Effective Leaders
  18. BECOMING A LEADER-II:Theories of leadership, Developing leadership potential
  19. GLOBALIZATION AND CROSS-CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:Religious Values and Bicultural Identities
  20. IMPROVING CROSS-CULTURAL COMPETENCE:Strategies to improve cross-cultural relations, More steps to improve Cultural Relations
  21. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH MANAGERS:Impressing your manager, Coping with a problem manager
  22. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH CO-WORKERS:Make Co-workers feel important, Maintain Honest and Open Relationships
  23. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH CUSTOMERS:Salesperson Represents the Business, Approaching the Customer, Excuses vs. Objections
  24. CHOOSING A CAREER-1:Ten Myths about Choosing a Career, Attitude toward and Perceptions about Myself
  25. CHOOSING A CAREER-II:Choosing a career and developing a portfolio Career, Suggestions for career Preparation
  26. FINDING A JOB:Targeting your job search, The Internet and Résumé Database Services, Extreme Job Hunting
  27. SIGNIFICANCE OF RESUME:Major types of resumes, Electronic Submission of the Résumé
  28. IMPROVING INTERVIEW SKILLS:Successful interview, Knowing the employer or Organization
  29. IMPROVING WORK HABITS-1:Reasons of procrastination, Techniques for Reducing Procrastination
  30. IMPROVING WORK HABITS-2:Developing the proper attitudes and values, Time-management techniques
  31. NEW MODEL OF CAREER ADVANCEMENT:Career portability, HUMAN RELATIONS SELF-ASSESSMENT
  32. TAKING CONTROL OF YOURSELF:Develop Outstanding Interpersonal Skills, Business etiquettes
  33. EXERTING CONTROL ON OUTSIDE ENVIRONMENT:Important communication tip, Exerting control over the outside world
  34. MANAGING PERSONAL FINANCES-1:Your personal financial plan, Steps in budget making
  35. MANAGING PERSONAL FINANCES-2:Basic investment principles, Tolerance for Investment Risks, Types of investments
  36. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-1:Finding happiness and enhancing your personal life, The key to happiness
  37. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-2:The Five Principles of Psychological Functioning, Your mind and Happiness
  38. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-3:Need for intimacy, Working out issues with relationships
  39. APATHY AND ITS REMEDIES:Let us try to understand the various definitions of apathy, Coping strategies for apathy
  40. ENHANCING PERSONAL ETHICS-1:Influence of Culture, Common ethical problems
  41. ENHANCING PERSONAL ETHICS-2:Common ethical problems, Guidelines for Behaving Ethically
  42. HELPING OTHERS GROW:Being a Nurturing, Positive Person, A list of mentoring behaviour, Coaching skills and techniques
  43. REVIEW-I:What is a Human Relation?, Meanings of Communication, Two types of stress, Some personal problem, Communication style
  44. REVIEW-II:Steps to build self-confidence, Globalization, Building Good Relations with Co-workers, Good work habits
  45. REVIEW-III:New model of career advancement, Choosing your investment, Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People