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COUNSELING SKILLS HINTS TO MAINTAIN CONGRUENCE:

<< COUNSELING SKILLS COUNSELOR’S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION:Use of Space
LISTENING & UNDERSTANDING SKILLS:Barriers to an Accepting Attitude >>
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Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632
VU
Lesson 13
COUNSELING SKILLS
HINTS TO MAINTAIN CONGRUENCE
This section will concentrate on maintaining congruence between counselor's verbal and nonverbal
communication. This consistency can be maintained by communicating verbal, nonverbal-all messages-
consistently. A few examples given below describe how to maintain this consistency:
Intended Communication: Conveyance of Comfort
·  Nonverbal Expression
o  Calm, soothing voice; relaxed posture; open facial expression
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "This is a safe place"
o  "Please make yourself comfortable"
Intended Communication: Conveyance of Patience
·  Nonverbal Expression
Slow rate of speech; patient gestures; focused attention
·  Sample Verbalizations
"Take your time"
"We have plenty of time"
Intended Communication: Welcoming the Client
·  Nonverbal Expression
o  Nodding; smiling; inviting gestures; open body posture
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "Welcome; please have a seat".
o  "It's nice to see you again".
Intended Communication: Expression of Empathy
·  Nonverbal Expression
o  Leaning forward; sensitive eye contact; matching nonverbal; sensitive timing; appropriate
accenting; facing client
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "What a frightening experience"
o  "It must have been very difficult time for you"
Intended Communication: Expression of Understanding
·  Nonverbal Expression
o  Matched paralinguistic and kinesics; appropriate rate of speech; gentle voice; nodding
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "Yes, I do understand."
Intended Communication: Expression of Caring
· Nonverbal Expression
o  Warm, soft voice; connected body posture (open seating and leaning forward); open and
relaxed facial expressions
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Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632
VU
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Sample Verbalizations
o  "I am so sorry to hear that your mother died."
o  "I truly care about what happened to you."
Intended Communication: Expression of Warmth
·  Nonverbal Expression
o  Warm, soft voice; gentle rate of speech; connected body posture; soft facial expressions
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "You really deserved this."
o  "You really need support and guidance from him right now."
Intended Communication: Expression of Confusion
·  Nonverbal Expression
Open body posture; accenting hand gestures; complementing facial expression (e.g.. wrinkled forehead,
questioning eyes)
·  Sample Verbalizations
o  "Help me understand this better...."
o  "No, I'm not quite clear on that yet..."
Example: The client says that he was not interested in some job, and then says he applied for it. The
counselor in such a situation can ask for clarity.
Skill Development Activity 1
·  Practice focused attention to people by practicing with friends and family.
·  Apply all the skills mentioned before to your day-to-day conversations with people you know well.
·  How did you feel in these conversations?
Do you notice any changes in responses? Are people aware of what you are doing? How do they feel about
it? How do you feel in these conversations? Are you learning more about these people than you used to?
Listening and Understanding Skills
·
"It is as though he listened and such listening as his enfolds us in a silence in which at last we begin to
hear what we are meant to be" (Lao-Tse).
·
Understanding is the beginning of approving (Andre' Gide).
·
Active listening entails showing understanding by tuning into and reflecting with your verbal, voice and
body messages the crux of the meaning contained in the verbal, voice and body messages of clients.
·
This term was popularized by Thomas Gordon in his 1970 book Parent Effectiveness Training. It entails
not only understanding speaker's communication but also showing that you have understood.
Counsellors provide the gift of their listening so that clients genuinely feel understood.
·
A distinction may be made between hearing and listening:
o  Hearing involves the capacity to be aware of and to receive sound.
o  Listening not only involves receiving sounds, but also, as much as possible, accurately
understanding their meaning.
·
Listening in a therapeutic manner means taking in the client's whole story. The first prerequisite to such
complete and active listening is the ability to allow a client to speak uninterruptedly, even if the client
takes breaks or pauses between words, sentences, or thoughts. Learning not to speak prematurely, in
essence interrupting the client's stream of thought is one of the most important listening skills.
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Theory and Practice of Counseling - PSY632
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Importance of Active Listening
·  Establishing rapport
o  You are more likely to develop rapport with clients if they feel understood by you than if
this is not the case.
·  Establishing trust
o  In the face of clients' inevitable mistrust, counselors need to establish their credentials of
honesty, integrity and reliability.
·  Bridging differences
o  By showing your understanding you build bridges not walls.
·  Helping clients to disclose
o  Good listening helps clients to feel accepted, safe and understood. This in turn helps
clients to choose to tell stories and share their inner world with you.
·  Helping clients to experience feelings
o  Rewarding listening can help clients to acknowledge their inner flow of emotions
·  Gathering information
·  Helping clients to assume responsibility
o  Clients who are listened to sharply are more likely to assume responsibility for working on
their problems.
What are Listening & Understanding Skills?
Following is the list of important Listening and understanding skills:
·  Possess an Attitude of Respect & Acceptance
·  Tune into the Client's Internal Viewpoint
·  Opening remarks
·  Open questions
·  Paraphrasing
·  Reflection of feeling
·  Summarization
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Table of Contents:
  1. INTRODUCTION:Counseling Journals, Definitions of Counseling
  2. HISTORICAL BACKGROUND COUNSELING & PSYCHOTHERAPY
  3. HISTORICAL BACKGROUND 1900-1909:Frank Parson, Psychopathic Hospitals
  4. HISTORICAL BACKGROUND:Recent Trends in Counseling
  5. GOALS & ACTIVITIES GOALS OF COUNSELING:Facilitating Behavior Change
  6. ETHICAL & LEGAL ISSUES IN COUNSELING:Development of Codes
  7. ETHICAL & LEGAL ISSUES IN COUNSELING:Keeping Relationships Professional
  8. EFFECTIVE COUNSELOR:Personal Characteristics Model
  9. EFFECTIVE COUNSELOR:Humanism, People Orientation, Intellectual Curiosity
  10. EFFECTIVE COUNSELOR:Cultural Bias in Theory and Practice, Stress and Burnout
  11. COUNSELING SKILLS:Microskills, Body Language & Movement, Paralinguistics
  12. COUNSELING SKILLS COUNSELOR’S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION:Use of Space
  13. COUNSELING SKILLS HINTS TO MAINTAIN CONGRUENCE:
  14. LISTENING & UNDERSTANDING SKILLS:Barriers to an Accepting Attitude
  15. LISTENING & UNDERSTANDING SKILLS:Suggestive Questions,
  16. LISTENING & UNDERSTANDING SKILLS:Tips for Paraphrasing, Summarizing Skills
  17. INFLUENCING SKILLS:Basic Listening Sequence (BLS), Interpretation/ Reframing
  18. FOCUSING & CHALLENGING SKILLS:Focused and Selective Attention, Family focus
  19. COUNSELING PROCESS:Link to the Previous Lecture
  20. COUNSELING PROCESS:The Initial Session, Counselor-initiated, Advice Giving
  21. COUNSELING PROCESS:Transference & Counter-transference
  22. THEORY IN THE PRACTICE OF COUNSELING:Timing of Termination
  23. PSYCHOANALYTIC APPROACHES TO COUNSELING:View of Human Nature
  24. CLASSICAL PSYCHOANALYTIC APPROACH:Psychic Determination, Anxiety
  25. NEO-FREUDIANS:Strengths, Weaknesses, NEO-FREUDIANS, Family Constellation
  26. NEO-FREUDIANS:Task setting, Composition of Personality, The Shadow
  27. NEO-FREUDIANS:Ten Neurotic Needs, Modes of Experiencing
  28. CLIENT-CENTERED APPROACH:Background of his approach, Techniques
  29. GESTALT THERAPY:Fritz Perls, Causes of Human Difficulties
  30. GESTALT THERAPY:Role of the Counselor, Assessment
  31. EXISTENTIAL THERAPY:Rollo May, Role of Counselor, Logotherapy
  32. COGNITIVE APPROACHES TO COUNSELING:Stress-Inoculation Therapy
  33. COGNITIVE APPROACHES TO COUNSELING:Role of the Counselor
  34. TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS:Eric Berne, The child ego state, Transactional Analysis
  35. BEHAVIORAL APPROACHES:Respondent Learning, Social Learning Theory
  36. BEHAVIORAL APPROACHES:Use of reinforcers, Maintenance, Extinction
  37. REALITY THERAPY:Role of the Counselor, Strengths, Limitations
  38. GROUPS IN COUNSELING:Major benefits, Traditional & Historical Groups
  39. GROUPS IN COUNSELING:Humanistic Groups, Gestalt Groups
  40. MARRIAGE & FAMILY COUNSELING:Systems Theory, Postwar changes
  41. MARRIAGE & FAMILY COUNSELING:Concepts Related to Circular Causality
  42. CAREER COUNSELING:Situational Approaches, Decision Theory
  43. COMMUNITY COUNSELING & CONSULTING:Community Counseling
  44. DIAGNOSIS & ASSESSMENT:Assessment Techniques, Observation
  45. FINAL OVERVIEW:Ethical issues, Influencing skills, Counseling Approaches