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Human Relations­ MGMT611
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Lesson 37
ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-2
Definition of happiness
Happiness, a state of joy, pleasure, goodness, or satisfaction.
The secret of happiness
Decide to be Happy.
You feel the way you think and you act the way you feel. Everything has positive and negative both aspects.
It is up to you which side you see. It is just like the example of a glass "half empty or half full". One will
find the glass half full whereas the other might say half of the glass is empty. Different people think
differently, so a particular phenomenon can be explained in the different perspectives.
The Five Principles of Psychological Functioning
According to a research the genes play a significant role in the happy personality of a person. But as far as
the psychologists' point of view is concerned happiness is something which can be achieved by controlling
the negative emotions and feelings of pessimism, cynicism, distrust, anger and annoyance.
A related approach to finding happiness is to follow the five principles of psychological functioning
recommended by popular psychologist Richard Carlson. One can be happy by learning the techniques and
skills of self-management.
1. The first principle is thinking. Directing your thinking in a positive direction will enhance your
happiness. Think positive and be optimist. Positive thinking always leads towards acquiring
happiness.
2. The second principle is moods. Ignoring bad moods contributes to happiness. Learn to control your
mood.
3. The third principle is separate psychological realities, suggesting that you accept the idea that people
think differently. All the people can not think alike, you must have the ability to listen to the other
peoples' point of view and accept them as they are.
4. The fourth principle is feelings. If you feel discontented, for example, clear the head and start
thinking positively. Enjoy what you have, don't spoil your life by craving for what you don't have.
5. The fifth principle of psychological functioning is the present moment. The present moment is where
most people find happiness and inner peace. One can not change one's past, neither can predicts
one's future. The only thing in one's hands is the present. Focus on your present and be happy.
Tips to achieve happiness
One can only be happy if one has the desire and intention to be happy. You should be aware of the things
that spoil your mood so that you avoid or control such environment. Now we will have a look at the
fourteen tips to be happy.
1)  Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side.
2)  Think of solutions, not problems. If you keep on thinking about the problem, you will
keep
yourself unhappy. Try to find out the solutions to get rid of the problem.
3)  Listen to relaxing, uplifting music. Take relaxing exercises. Meditation and indulging in
your
favourite activity will also be helpful in uplifting your mood.
4)  Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.
5)  Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.
6)  Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts,
start
thinking of pleasant things. You can control your negative thinking by looking at the
positive side of the phenomenon.
7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't. Appreciate yourself for
your
achievements.
8) Each day do something good for yourself. Rewarding yourself with little things will keep
you in good mood. For example, buying a book, eating something you
like, watching  you
favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a
stroll on the beach.
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9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. It is equally important to do
some  nice
act for others as you like to do for yourself.
10) Always expect happiness.
11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.
12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember,  happiness  is
contagious.
13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired.
Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and  reactions.
Detachment
is
not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad
and
staying
balanced.
Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner  peace is conducive to happiness.
14) Smile more often. Smile, it costs nothing but gives a lot.
Your mind and Happiness
Depression could be defined as an illness whose main symptom is extreme unhappiness. If you are happy
you cannot be depressed. If you are suffering from depression always seek help and support from a doctor.
Depression is an illness which exists in the mind and therefore the cure and prevention lies with treating the
mind. What do you need to work on to become happier and less depressed? You should consider these
factors curing depression.
1.
Your mood
2.
Your self esteem
3.
Your perceived situation
4.
Your self confidence
5.
Your thinking
6.
Your motivation
7.
Your faith
8.
Your purpose
Depression begins and lives in your mind. You are the one who is in charge of your mind and your
thinking. You can become a more happier person by bringing changes in your attitude and behaviour.
A planned approach to finding a relationship
The problem-solving method can be used to enhance one's personal life despite claims that planning takes
the romance out of personal life. Examples of widely used planned approaches are personal ads (both
printed and voice mail), Internet dating services, and chat rooms on the Internet. Most methods of finding a
relationship involve reaching out for another person. A key principle of finding romantic companionship is
to be realistic in terms of the type of person you are likely to attract--one who will most likely be interested
in you. Caring friends are always a source of pleasure and happiness.
An important consideration in searching for a relationship is to recognize when you are experiencing quest
fatigue. It is the feeling of demoralization and disappointment that takes place when all your efforts at
finding a nice caring friend fail. Give yourself time off from the search when quest fatigue occurs.
Why people are attracted to one another
As part of enriching social life, it is helpful to understand why people are attracted to each other.
Understanding these forces may help in choosing a compatible person for a long-term relationship.
A. Balance Theory of Attraction
Balance theory states that people prefer relationships that are consistent or balanced. We are thus attracted
to similar people because they reinforce our opinions and values. Moreover we are attracted towards those
people who have the similar values and attitudes to avoid conflict. We feel more comfortable and like to be
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associated with the like minded persons for a smooth and happy relationship. It is natural phenomenon that
people do not like to take psychological pressure or dissonance. Hence they tend to pick and choose the
friends having similar characteristics.
B. Social Exchange Theory of Attraction
According to social exchange theory, human relationships are based mainly on self-interest. People match
their social, physical, and other assets against a potential partner's. The closer the match, the more likely
they will develop a long-term relationship. One explanation of these findings is that the feeling of being
taken advantage of corrodes a relationship. It is also disturbing to feel that you are taking advantage of your
partner.
If you are more demanding from a relationship, you might break that relationship by putting undue stress or
pressure on that relationship.
References:
Dubrin, A.J. (2005). Human Relations: Career and Personal Success. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey,
07458.
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Table of Contents:
  1. HUMAN RELATIONS:Some Guidelines for Effective Human Relations, Communication has 3meanings
  2. CULTURE AND PERSONALITY:Definition of sub culture, Definition of Personality, Types of Persons
  3. PERSONALITY AND STRESS:Personality, PERSONAL TOOLS TO CONTROL STRESS
  4. PERCEPTION AND INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIOUR:Three concepts of personality, Bias in Perception
  5. PERCEPTION AND GROUP BEHAVIOR:Characteristics of Groups, Individual and Group Behavior
  6. ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOUR:Types of Attitudes, Steps to turn attitude into action
  7. PERSONAL MOTIVATION AND ACHIEVEMENT:Needs and Motivation, Self-discipline and motivation
  8. SOLVING PROBLEMS SKILLFULLY:Problem solving and cognition, Ways to solve problems
  9. CREATIVITY IN PROBLEM SOLVING:Barriers to creativity, Tips to solve problems creatively
  10. HANDLING PERSONAL ISSUES:Self-Defeating Behaviour, Positive attitude to tackle personal problems
  11. CONFLICT RESOLUTION:WHY SO MUCH CONFLICT EXISTS, TECHNIQUES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICTS
  12. COMMUNICATION AND HUMAN RELATIONS:Process of communication, Improving gender barriers to communication
  13. ORGANIZATIONAL COMMUNICATION:To improve listening skills, Types of organizational communication
  14. UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION STYLES:Modeling communication style, Sociability continuum
  15. SELF-ESTEEM:Building process of self-esteem, Self-esteem and public image
  16. BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE:The importance of self-confidence and self-efficacy, Balanced Self-Confidence:
  17. BECOMING A LEADER-1:Assessing leadership role, Traits and Characteristics of Effective Leaders
  18. BECOMING A LEADER-II:Theories of leadership, Developing leadership potential
  19. GLOBALIZATION AND CROSS-CULTURAL DIFFERENCES:Religious Values and Bicultural Identities
  20. IMPROVING CROSS-CULTURAL COMPETENCE:Strategies to improve cross-cultural relations, More steps to improve Cultural Relations
  21. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH MANAGERS:Impressing your manager, Coping with a problem manager
  22. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH CO-WORKERS:Make Co-workers feel important, Maintain Honest and Open Relationships
  23. BUILDING GOOD RELATIONS WITH CUSTOMERS:Salesperson Represents the Business, Approaching the Customer, Excuses vs. Objections
  24. CHOOSING A CAREER-1:Ten Myths about Choosing a Career, Attitude toward and Perceptions about Myself
  25. CHOOSING A CAREER-II:Choosing a career and developing a portfolio Career, Suggestions for career Preparation
  26. FINDING A JOB:Targeting your job search, The Internet and Résumé Database Services, Extreme Job Hunting
  27. SIGNIFICANCE OF RESUME:Major types of resumes, Electronic Submission of the Résumé
  28. IMPROVING INTERVIEW SKILLS:Successful interview, Knowing the employer or Organization
  29. IMPROVING WORK HABITS-1:Reasons of procrastination, Techniques for Reducing Procrastination
  30. IMPROVING WORK HABITS-2:Developing the proper attitudes and values, Time-management techniques
  31. NEW MODEL OF CAREER ADVANCEMENT:Career portability, HUMAN RELATIONS SELF-ASSESSMENT
  32. TAKING CONTROL OF YOURSELF:Develop Outstanding Interpersonal Skills, Business etiquettes
  33. EXERTING CONTROL ON OUTSIDE ENVIRONMENT:Important communication tip, Exerting control over the outside world
  34. MANAGING PERSONAL FINANCES-1:Your personal financial plan, Steps in budget making
  35. MANAGING PERSONAL FINANCES-2:Basic investment principles, Tolerance for Investment Risks, Types of investments
  36. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-1:Finding happiness and enhancing your personal life, The key to happiness
  37. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-2:The Five Principles of Psychological Functioning, Your mind and Happiness
  38. ACHIEVING HAPPINESS-3:Need for intimacy, Working out issues with relationships
  39. APATHY AND ITS REMEDIES:Let us try to understand the various definitions of apathy, Coping strategies for apathy
  40. ENHANCING PERSONAL ETHICS-1:Influence of Culture, Common ethical problems
  41. ENHANCING PERSONAL ETHICS-2:Common ethical problems, Guidelines for Behaving Ethically
  42. HELPING OTHERS GROW:Being a Nurturing, Positive Person, A list of mentoring behaviour, Coaching skills and techniques
  43. REVIEW-I:What is a Human Relation?, Meanings of Communication, Two types of stress, Some personal problem, Communication style
  44. REVIEW-II:Steps to build self-confidence, Globalization, Building Good Relations with Co-workers, Good work habits
  45. REVIEW-III:New model of career advancement, Choosing your investment, Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People